THE 2024 Toyota AFL Premiership Season is in full swing, and Damian Barrett's Sliding Doors is back!

So put your seatbelt on and enjoy the ride as Damo takes off the gloves and takes aim at your team.

So what is he saying about your club? What's he saying about the AFL? You can't say that, Damo, can you? Check it out below.

>> Check out the latest from Damian Barrett 

IF ...

it worked so beautifully last match after four weeks of midfield problems ...

THEN ...

there is no turning back. Izak Rankine must be a near-permanent attendee at centre bounces. And Josh Rachele needs the same status.

IF ..

Country Roads has famously become Charlie Cameron's post-goal song of choice at the Gabba ...

THEN ...

after his inexplicable Tribunal escape this week, for one night only – Saturday, against the Cats - he has to change it. Johnny Farnham's That's Freedom would work. Or Wham's Freedom. Maybe even Shaggy's It Wasn't Me.

IF ...

Danny Frawley in 2004 stood in front of his confused Richmond players with a compressor above his head and asked four times, "What am I, boys?" before bellowing out, "I am under the pump"! ...

THEN ...

so too is the pressure now being applied to Carlton director of high performance Andrew Russell. Lots of soft tissue injuries. Saad, McGovern, Cerra, Martin, Motlop, Cuningham. Weitering before them. 

IF ...

Nick Daicos is yet to reach the extraordinary performance levels of 2023 ...

THEN ...

he's still been better than good in 2024. Have the feeling he is about to cut loose, and could explode on Saturday, against the gun Power onballers at the MCG.

IF ...

Jake Stringer usually cops the heat when the Bombers lose ...

THEN ...

he doesn't get enough praise when they win. There aren't many Bombers wins without him playing well.

IF ...

we were meant to buy the story that Jordan Clark was talking to himself when he dropped the magic word and supposedly said "you f***ing idiot, Jordan" when the Dockers copped a match-losing free kick in the frantic final seconds against Carlton two weeks ago ...

THEN ...

maybe this week he said to himself, "you f***ing little beauty, Jordan" as he signed a contract tying him to the Dockers until the end of 2028.

IF ...

so many coaches refuse to reveal their true thoughts on the many controversial issues in footy and society ...

THEN ...

thankfully there's Chris Scott. Never afraid to speak his mind when asked, always does it with context, doesn't care if you don't like what he says. Take a listen to what he said on Thursday about this week's Tribunal debacle. Wish there were another 17 like him.

IF ...

18 teams are to play 23 matches over 25 weeks in the 2024 home and away season ...

THEN ...

some will receive good fixtures and some will receive bad ones. The Suns have been given the best. North, West Coast, Richmond twice. And Hawthorn and Richmond among the five matches played to date. Really keen to see how they go against Sydney on Sunday. 

IF ...

Sam Taylor's concussion-induced absence is going to hurt for Saturday's game against Charlie and Harry ...

THEN ...

his replacement is a great story. Leek Aleer. A first-round draft pick in 2021, not seen at AFL level for 609 days.

IF ...

the signs have been very worrying in 2024 ...

THEN ...

it will reach catastrophe levels if the Roos beat them on Sunday. This club very deliberately chose to bottom-out, and it may not yet have hit its low point.

IF ...

the Dees were ordinary in Opening Round (Sydney) and round five (Brisbane) ...

THEN ...

the four matches in between (Western Bulldogs, Hawthorn, Port Adelaide, Adelaide) proved they were going to be a flag challenger yet again. This weekend's bye has come at a good time.

IF ...

an AFL Grand Final is something that hasn't been experienced by the Roos since 1999 and has never been further away ...

THEN ...

Clarko needs to treat Sunday's match against Hawthorn at Marvel Stadium as a pretend one. None of the now-regular excuses for this one. The Hawks are under siege themselves. And let Sheezel loose in the middle!

IF ...

many clubs are averse to playing two rucks ...

THEN ...

the Power are prepared to give it a go, at least on Saturday against Collingwood at the MCG. Jordon Sweet the Charlie Dixon replacement, to play alongside Ivan Soldo. Keen to see how it looks against Darcy Cameron and Mason Cox.

IF ...

the injury list includes Lynch, Short, Taranto, Gibcus, Prestia, Hopper, Grimes, Balta and Ross ...

THEN ...

new coach Adem Yze has little hope. Really feel for him.

IF ...

Max King was a bad out for Thursday's match against the Dogs ...

THEN ...

it was not as bad as the outs for the other team, Ugle-Hagan and Libba. Not one excuse for that dreadful showing. And here comes a deserved week of media and supporter spotlight.

IF ...

the Swans' start to the season was blistering (wins against Melbourne, Collingwood, Essendon) ...

THEN ...

the two matches before their bye may have been reality checks. Struggled badly against Richmond, took a long time to overcome West Coast. I still reckon they're top-four material, but they seemed to get a bit happy with themselves in that patch.

IF ...

only two weeks ago there was no interest from people in the east about an upcoming derby ...

THEN ...

thanks to Harley Reid, it's blockbuster now. Grabbing the popcorn and choc-top ice cream for Saturday night.

IF ...

you give Bailey Dale access to an entire match, and not make him wear a sub vest ...

THEN ...

there's a big chance he will impact. Was brilliant on Thursday night in a big win against St Kilda.

AND THIS ONE'S FOR THE AFL

IF ...

there is the remotest piece of "good" to come out of the latest Tribunal mess ...

THEN ...

it is that the AFL is now surely obliged to blow up the current workings within its Match Review Office and Tribunal systems. No more outsourcing the match review adjudications, bring that role in-house, fully own and control all decisions. Scrap one of the two Tribunals, as no judiciary system should need four different sets of eyes – umpires, MRO and not just one, but two, Tribunals. No more Tuesday Tribunal hearings for incidents from the previous Thursday. Immediately bolt close the "good character" loophole. Do that today. And ban Adrian Anderson from representing players at the Tribunal. Anderson, remember, introduced the NRL-style MRO-Tribunal system to the AFL when he was AFL football department boss. I could keep going …