DIMPLES are breaking out up and down Lygon Street with the news that Carlton coach Brett Ratten and his full-forward Brendan Fevola are still "solid".
Ratts also made the observation that Fev is haunted by media exponentialism*, saying that whatever he does is magnified by 500.
Which means the big fella actually gathered 4000 kicks and 1500 goals against the Saints last Friday, but undid his good work by giving away 500 free kicks and a 25,000 metre penalty.
Still, it's no surprise the Blues are baulking at Fev's contract request -- 2000 years seems a big risk to take on a player his age.
* not a real word
2. Peering into the abyss
AND SPEAKING of Fev (and who isn't) the maligned spearhead received some heavyweight support on Wednesday when Anthony Hudson suggested that showing a little post-match affection was perhaps not trialable in Nuremberg.
Swans co-captain Leo Barry, conversely, focussed on the less cuddly side of the Carlton doppelganger, suggesting his team might attempt to get under his skin when they meet on Sunday.
Now the Swans know a thing or two about a forward's skin being got under so it's fair to say that the advice of German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche -- battle not with monsters lest ye become a monster -- has been ignored.
And quite right too. Nietzsche knew nothing about football. God is dead? The bloke obviously missed the '89 grand final.
3. Put another dime in the jukebox, baby
DIMPLES too in Blacktown after AFL CEO Andrew Demetriou announced it would be home base to the League's 18th team come 2012.
Interestingly, the boss of footy noted that $82m had been set aside to underpin the AFL's expansion, "in anticipation of what may or may not happen" . . . quite a useful skill that.
Anyways, the thinking here is pure genius. A team in Blacktown would almost necessarily be called the Blacktown Blackhearts. And in turn the theme song would almost necessarily be based upon the Joan Jett and the Blackhearts mega-hit I love rock'n'roll, which would instantly become the AFL's coolest song -- and a lot tougher than the early favourite for the Gold Coast: Oh, I do like to be beside the sea side
4. The Dark Knight
SO, YOU think Bulldogs veteran Brad Johnson is a nice guy? Think again. Asked on Wednesday what superhero he would like to be, Johnson claimed to have not given the topic much thought.
Yeah, right. The only reason anyone doesn't constantly dwell on whether the Silver Surfer's power set is a better fit than the Green Lantern's is if they're dwelling on whether Lex Luthor's super-villainy is more appealing than Gregorian Falstaff's.
Yes, acts of super heroism obviously don't push Brad Johnson's buttons but cartoonish levels of wickedness apparently do, which also explains why he's always smiling . . . trying to emulate the Joker don't you know.
What to look out for on afl.com.au this Thursday:
It figures
What player had most hard-hug gets last week? Tune into Stats City to find out.
Kangaroo Pie
Friday night footy. Kangaroos. Magpies. Coaches. Afl.com.au. Today. Short sentence.
Buddy@
The Hawks superstar is back, talking favourite flicks, Dream Team and which onballer he loves the most.
The Red Fox
The book about one of the most important figures in football is being launched today. Follow the Norm Smith biography launch at afl.com.au.
Teams, previews
Which teams will win, why and who will be playing when they win it.
The views in this story are those of the author and not necessarily those of the clubs or the AFL
