THE 2024 Toyota AFL Premiership Season is in full swing, and Damian Barrett's Sliding Doors is back!

So put your seatbelt on and enjoy the ride as Damo takes off the gloves and takes aim at your team.

So what is he saying about your club? What's he saying about the AFL? You can't say that, Damo, can you? Check it out below.

>> Check out the latest from Damian Barrett 

IF ...

the Crows want to resurrect a season which is just about shot ...

THEN ...

they need to forget their 0-4 status, and return, beginning Saturday against Carlton, to being an attacking-minded team. Maybe they're not good enough to make finals, anyway. But being suffocated by expectation is destroying them.

IF ..

coach Fagan in the pre-season described Josh Dunkley as the "player most like Luke Hodge I have come across, in terms of his personality" ...

THEN ...

the Hodge qualities were on show on Thursday night against Melbourne. In a match that just had to be won in a season which had begun disastrously, Dunkley's leadership was superb.

IF ...

Sam Walsh missed the first four matches last year with a serious back injury, and then another four with a hamstring, yet still finished top 10 in the best and fairest ...

THEN ...

the 18 games he played, particularly the three finals, underlined his eliteness. Has again missed the first four of 2024 with another serious back complaint. Back for Saturday's match against the Crows. What a bonus for the Blues, to have stayed unbeaten in his absence.

IF ...

Jordy De Goey, like every one of his teammates, in 2024 is yet to reach the extraordinary performance levels of last year ...

THEN ...

he was nevertheless very good last Sunday against the Hawks. Pies wouldn't have scrounged that win without him being near his best.

IF ...

the four premiership points don't accompany the Bombers after Friday night's game against the Bulldogs ...

THEN ...

that's OK. But self-pride in the playing group must be evident, regardless of the final score. It went missing in the final four rounds last year, and again was worryingly AWOL in Gather Round.

IF ...

I admired the strategy boldness of the Dockers in their public defence of Jordan Clark's dissent last week ...

THEN ...

I still didn't buy it. Far from convinced he was directing those nasty words at himself, not an umpire.

IF ...

Ian and Bruce Nankervis, they of 1970s and '80s fame, and Gaz and Nathan Ablett of the 2000s hold the status as best brothers to play for the Cats ...

THEN ...

here come the Henry boys. They're guns, Ollie and Jack, getting better with every game. Reckon Ollie has Next Big Thing status.

IF ...

the hype around Mac Andrew had always been at blockbuster level ...

THEN ...

via his performance last weekend we got to see why he has that billing. There is no one in the comp like him. 

IF ...

there are stars everywhere in this Giants team ...

THEN ...

the Aaron Cadman one gets brighter by the week. Love how coach Kingsley is selecting him every week.

IF ...

Blake Hardwick is required down back ...

THEN ...

with an injury-depleted attack he may be more required up forward. Booted four goals in game No.151 last Sunday. Looks a natural inside the forward 50.

IF ...

so many big-name Dees were dreadfully down on form on Thursday night against Brisbane ...

THEN ...

not big Maxxy. Was blown away in the first game of the season by Brodie Grundy when he shouldn't have played due to illness, but in the five matches since, has shot back to being the game's standout ruck. All-Australian gong No.7 coming up.

IF ...

Harry Sheezel is already an elite talent and best-and-fairest winner with just 27 matches to his name ...

THEN ...

it's now time to change his match day role, from half back to the middle. He's ready for the next phase of development, and the Roos desperately need him in more attacking zones.

IF ...

the superstar qualities of Connor Rozee were long established before Gather Round 2024 ...

THEN ...

it was his leadership traits which were most on show on this occasion. His was the complete game. And I can't stop watching on replay that exquisite long bomb goal across his body from 48 metres out at the Adelaide Oval scoreboard end, which sailed well clear of the goal line.

IF ...

among the ins the name Liam Baker is there ...

THEN ...

the Tigers look soooooo much better. Led the Tigers to their only win a fortnight ago, against the Swans, and his suspension for last week's match against St Kilda was ultimately adversely result shaping. 

IF ...

Kevin Sheedy would often reference "martians" in not-so-cryptic digs at umpires when at the peak of his coaching powers at Essendon ...

THEN ...

great to see Ross The Boss bring back the extraterrestrial coach-speak this week. "What happened is we actually landed a UFO in and walked out 22 aliens and put them in St Kilda jumpers and went out and played," Lyon said, deadpan.

IF ...

the Swans aren't playing this weekend ...

THEN ...

they've still managed to register a 20-goal win in the form of Errol Gulden's signature on a new contract.

IF ...

Bulldog Sam Darcy was the AFL Rising Star nomination out of Gather Round ...

THEN ...

that was both the right decision and a tough one for Harley Reid, who was very good against Sydney. Cannot wait to see how he carries himself against Dusty Martin at Optus Stadium on Sunday.

IF ...

Caleb Daniel had both started and finished as the sub in two of the Bulldogs' four matches this season and has now been axed for game five ...

THEN ...

other clubs are now getting very interested in how this season unfolds for him. A best-and-fairest and All-Australian player with two years to run on a sizeable contract. Not the only Bulldogs player unhappy at the moment, either.

AND THIS ONE'S FOR THE AFL

IF ...

I was ultra-critical at the time when Clarkson was not hit with match-day bans in the pre-season ...

THEN ...

at least that wrong was righted with the three-game suspension of Finlayson. And the next time it will be six.

AND THIS ONE, TOO

IF ...

Kozzy Pickett hit Jake Soligo on a Thursday ...

THEN ...

I have no idea why he has to wait until the following Tuesday to be granted a Tribunal hearing. Had he wanted to appeal that tribunal outcome, the appeals tribunal would have then sat on Wednesday. The Demons' next match was Thursday. There are so many aspects of this system which need fixing.