THREATS to kill? Front-row seats to Brendan Fevola's "fence show"? Sledging your own teammates?
AFL great Eddie Betts has shared his view on the game's best trash-talkers from his 16 seasons and 316 games at the top level.
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It didn't take long for Betts to become an opposition target, with ex-Hawthorn and Gold Coast hardman Campbell Brown among the first to take aim in the 33-year-old's debut season in 2005.
"I played against Campbell Brown, my first year … he wasn't a trash-talker – he was just straight-up crazy," Betts said on Carlton's player podcast Blues Banter.
"He looked at me and said, 'If you put your head over the ball, Eddie, I'm going to kill you'.
"I was like, 'Wow, crap, I'm taking a step back'. He couldn't care."
Carlton played the Hawks twice in Betts' first season and he kicked three goals on both occasions, so Brown's sledges weren't overly effective.
Most of his other memories were amusing ones, including how former Adelaide teammate Brodie Smith used to get stuck into opponents then "let everyone else fight his battles for him".
Another Crow, Taylor 'Tex' Walker, and Lion Mitch Robinson were others to come up in the conversation but it was Greater Western Sydney defender Heath Shaw who drew the biggest laughs.
"The biggest trash talker – and we've gone to battle for 16 years now – is Heath Shaw," Betts said, with a wide grin.
"But the funny thing about Heath Shaw is he trash talks his own teammates (and) abuses them. He's a good man, Heath.
"I love that he abuses everybody and doesn't care if they're his teammates."
Among the current Carlton crop, power forward Harry McKay and the Curnow brothers, Charlie and Ed, rated a mention.
"Charlie Curnow, he trash talks Ed – it's like watching two little kids in a park fight," Betts said.
"It's two brothers at each other. Ed throws a line with no bait on it and Charlie bites."
The last word went to the enigmatic and controversial Fevola, who booted 623 goals from 204 games for Carlton and Brisbane between 1999 and 2010.
"We were walking out (and) we were playing against Essendon, and he looked at me and he said, 'Ed, did you buy a ticket?'," Betts said, .
"The 50 Cent concert was coming up … and I was like, 'What do you mean buy a ticket?'.
"(Fevola replied) 'To see the fence show today'. But then he came out and kicked nine goals that day, I think, and just blew them away."