STRAP yourselves in, footy fans - Damian Barrett's Sliding Doors is back in full swing for 2026.

With the 2026 Toyota AFL Premiership Season approaching a dramatic conclusion, Damo's got plenty of thoughts about all 18 clubs - and the AFL.

So what is he saying about your team? What's he saying about the AFL? You can't say that, Damo, can you? Check it out below.

>> ALL THE LATEST NEWS AND OPINION FROM DAMIAN BARRETT

IF ...

I’ve regularly queried the Crows’ lack of match-day killer instinct ...

THEN ...

a mere win against Essendon on Sunday obviously won’t change that. But a 15-goal win, which would greatly assist percentage and keep alive hopes of a top four finish, might at least be cause for a rethink.

IF ..

Ty Gallop deserved to be suspended for three matches for his roughing-up of Mitch Georgiades ...

THEN ...

hopefully the AFL also uses this case as the turning point for all players who choose to rough-up or taunt opponents in similar moments. I’d be advocating a reversal of free kick as a minimum starting point, and from that, suspensions on a sliding scale.

IF ...

Josh Fraser is one thing ...

THEN ...

he’s true to the media strategy he devised from day one of being appointed interim coach of the Blues. He was not prematurely going to commit publicly to being interested in the permanent gig. And even after an 8-2 scoreline and even after the club itself went public with wanting him to “put his hand up”, Fraser could not bring himself to being all-in publicly. Nathan Buckley may have been too all-in on the Tassie job. Fraser may be too non-committal on the Blues one. Of course, what Fraser is doing privately may be very different.

IF ...

pre-Thursday night match injuries to Elliott, Moore and Maynard were problematic enough ...

THEN ...

in-game injuries to Howe and Perryman may just prove to be the breaking point on this season. As always, Pies were very gallant against the Cats. But there comes a point where downed soldiers mean a lost war.

IF ...

the coach search is down to a guaranteed four, and just for appearances potentially five with Solly not yet officially ruled out ...

THEN ...

the presence of Jaymie Graham – clearly an AFL coach-in-waiting - is the curveball on Essendon doing Essendon. Craig Vozzo, who after three highly underwhelming years of running the Bombers as CEO and who has somehow been empowered with overseeing a football department revamp, is a big Graham fan. Vozzo is not part of the “official” panel to identify the new coach, though. Hird and McVeigh, and maybe both, remain in the box seats.

IF ...

Hayden Young was cotton-wooled in round 20 ...

THEN ...

I’d also be leaving him in cotton wool for the Friday night lights round 21 match against the Dogs. Even with Jackson, Reid, Treacy and Bolton, the brilliant but brittle Young may just be the main difference-maker in the Dockers’ flag push, the type to win a Norm Smith Medal. Look after him, Dockers!

IF ...

three of the Cats’ five best players, including two guaranteed Australian Football Hall of Famers, weren’t at the MCG on Thursday night ...

THEN ...

no problem. The Cats have still got Chris Scott, who seeks to find a way to win through every scenario. Don’t ever rule this club out of anything.

IF ...

some of Brand Petracca’s old Demons teammates may have felt like telling him to “f… off” many times in the previous three seasons ...

THEN ...

a 19-year-old current one simply blasted it out, on-camera and in-match, last weekend. I had no issue with what Leo Lombard did, and no issue with what Petracca did pre and post. But it wasn’t good for the brand. And then there was the brand damage control, via a wordy personal defence in the Herald Sun. None of it will matter should 'Trac' produce a best-afield performance against his old mob on Sunday.

IF ...

this Jekyll and Hyde outfit remains true to its 2026 season persona ...

THEN ...

it will comfortably defeat the Power at Adelaide Oval on Saturday night.

IF ...

Gunners and the Wizard don’t jag a dozen between them against the Roos on Saturday in Launceston ...

THEN ...

I’ll be surprised. Might even be, as it famously was back in 2012 also on a Saturday at the same venue against the same team when big Bud ran amok, 13. Thirteeeeennn!!

IF ...

Jakey “Fists Of Fury” Melksham is a month away from turning 35, has got 254 matches behind him, has been in and out of the senior team all year and may be past his best ...

THEN ...

I’d still be playing him every single week. Part of the extended bench for Sunday’s game against the Suns.

IF ...

seemingly everyone is still trying to tell me that North has meaningfully improved ...

THEN ...

seemingly everyone is too easily pleased. I’m just not buying what you’re selling. And no one, not even the staunchest Clarko barracker, could convince me that it would have been acceptable, on the day of his signing back in 2022, for the Roos to be languishing in 13th place on the ladder after round 20 in his fourth season. And while I have been a massive critic of Clarko, I still maintain he fully deserves to be given the fifth year of his contract in 2027. But under no circumstances should that contract be extended in the off-season.

IF ...

people at Port this week publicly bought into the possibility of the departing and currently injured Zak Butters getting back for another game this year ...

THEN ...

I’m not buying it. There’s zero point to him playing him again this year. Imagine he blew a knee.

IF ...

the Tigers have been trying to win all year but have failed in 17 of their 19 cracks ...

THEN ...

there’s no reason to even try to win from here. Right where they need to be. Last. Percentage of 60.9. The real problem is that there is no guarantee, even with better access to currently injured players, that 2027 will be significantly better.

IF ...

the Saints have beaten no team of note in their nine wins in 2026 ...

THEN ...

what an opportunity on Saturday at Marvel Stadium. Second-placed Sydney would be a genuine scalp. Let’s see if they properly deserve the wildcard position they are currently holding.

IF ...

I was worried for a brief period this year that my main man The Chad had lost some form ...

THEN ...

it was misplaced worry. Has been outstanding in 2026, yet again. Another All-Australian honour simply has to be headed his way.

IF ...

there are a lot of teams seemingly satisfied to find themselves in that “we’re happy with honourable losses” zone ...

THEN ...

the Eagles, as solid as they have been with a young list, won’t want to linger there too long, because sometimes you never emerge from that abyss. Just ask North Melbourne. Eagles simply must beat Richmond on Sunday. No excuses.

IF ...

the Dogs’ backline has been the main problem area all year ...

THEN ...

ouch. This is gonna really hurt. Treacy, Amiss, Voss is the toughest task in footy. 121 goals from a combined 18 matches when they’ve all been involved. Good luck O’Donnell, Khamis, Busslinger, Sellwood. 

AND THIS ONE'S FOR THE AFL

IF ...

I’m still meant to get excited about some ordinary teams battling for 10th position on the ladder - in an 18-team, 23-game competition – as they jostle for a wildcard finals slot ...

THEN ...

unfortunately I’m yet to notice an increase in my heartrate. And I now also know there will be no quickening heart this year on the one day that it been guaranteed to do so, the Sunday of the final round. Dons-Power, Swans-Roos, Eagles-Hawks. Yeah, nah. Protecting the potential ninth and 10th teams with favourable scheduling in round 24 has adversely affected one of the great traditions in 2026.