WITH the 2021 Toyota AFL Premiership season up and running, naturally, Damian Barrett's Sliding Doors is also up and about.

So what's Damo saying about your club? Who is in the firing line? And what's he saying about the AFL? You can't say that, Damo, can you?

Oh, and be sure you tune in to AFL Daily as Nat and Damo put the spotlight on all the big issues. Check it out.

IF ...

it was difficult enough getting my head around a) the selection of an injured player as the medical sub and b) the fact that that player then didn't even have his boots on when a teammate was subbed out ...

THEN ...

it was actually even more difficult trying to get my head around the post-match "explanations" from the coach and footy manager as to why and how it happened. Clearly, Nicks and Kelly were covering for some people. That's admirable, but it only added to the debacle.

Matthew Nicks and Tom Lynch at Adelaide's 2021 official photo day. Picture: AFL Photos

IF ..

Lachie Neale was Toby Greene circa 2017 ...

THEN ...

he would've been rubbed out for a month for touching an umpire. And if he was Greg Williams in 1997 …

00:42 Mins
Published on

Is Neale in trouble for making contact with the umpire?

Lachie Neale touched umpire Matthew Nicholls midway through the second term and may come under scrutiny from the MRO

Published on

IF ...

the Blues are to stand for something this season ...

THEN ...

they must win on Sunday against the Bombers. It is as simple as that.

Sam Walsh (right) and Zac Williams after the Blues' loss to the Lions in round six, 2021. Picture: AFL Photos

IF ...

he was quiet for nearly three months after resigning his post of 23 years ...

THEN ...

Ed could wait no longer and resumed the noise this week. On that noise, not sure who gave him the power to tell another club what it can and can’t wear in a game of football.

Eddie McGuire at the press conference announcing he will quit as Collingwood president immediately. Picture: Getty Images/AFL Photos

IF ...

you draft a kid at No.5 overall as a pure midfielder in junior footy ...

THEN ...

probably best to give him a proper crack as a midfielder in the AFL. No surprise to those who have followed Darcy Parish closely in his 99 matches that he's FINALLY becoming the player he was meant to be – a midfielder. Staggering that it took injuries for the permanent role to open up.

03:27 Mins
Published on

Priceless Parish claims his first Anzac Medal

Essendon's Darcy Parish produced a frightening performance from the midfield to earn the Anzac Medal

Published on

IF ...

he's copped some bad injuries and toiled his way through two clubs and 112 games since being drafted in 2009 ...

THEN ...

maybe season 2021 might work out to be Travis Colyer's best in the AFL. Still as fast as ever, and has been really good in the Dockers' three-match winning streak.

Travis Colyer of the Dockers celebrates after scoring a goal during round four, 2021. Picture: AFL Photos

IF ...

Jez Cameron's reception on debut at the Cattery last weekend was one reserved only for the A-graders ...

THEN ...

it still had nothing on the thousands who in 1981 greeted the arrival of WA recruit Brian Peake – who was flown by helicopter to a training session.

02:49 Mins
Published on

Jezza joy in impressive opening hitout

Cats boom recruit Jeremy Cameron produces an eye-catching performance in his first game for his new club

Published on

IF ...

the big win against the Swans in round six was ultra impressive ...

THEN ...

it needs to become the standard, not the isolated performance after a string of disappointing losses. There is sizeable quality in this team, and it is being wasted in not being displayed every single match.

07:58 Mins
Published on

Highlights: Gold Coast v Sydney

The Suns and Swans clash in round six

Published on

IF ...

you're in charge of your club's football department and you choose to launch a tirade at umpires at half-time of a match ...

THEN ...

you're very fortunate to be able to attend the next match. Jason McCartney should have been suspended from match day duties for at least a week, possibly more.

GWS football boss Jason McCartney. Picture: AFL Photos

IF ...

Clarko keeps rolling the dice in matches ...

THEN ...

the Hawks will win the odd match here and there in 2021. They've won two of six, against Essendon and Adelaide by a combined four points. It's not what Clarko normally likes to do, but it will keep his team in a lot of contests.

Alastair Clarkson addresses the Hawks in round six, 2021. Picture: AFL Photos

IF ...

the Dees have extraordinarily got themselves to 6-0 without Ben Brown ...

THEN ...

look out from here. A new dimension.

02:14 Mins
Published on

Frenemies with Ben Brown: 'He's not known for his chat'

Ben Brown's ex-teammates at North Melbourne dish the dirt as they prepare to face off against the boom Melbourne recruit for the first time

Published on

IF ...

only the Roos had a gun key forward to help Nick Larkey and Cam Zurhaar ...

THEN ...

oh yeah, that's right, they did, and they didn't want him.

03:56 Mins
Published on

Get excited: Watch the best highlights of Ben Brown

Enjoy the standout moments from the forward's career so far

Published on

IF ...

Port players had even three per cent of the care factor of their ranting chairman David Koch about the prison bar guernsey ...

THEN ...

I'd be surprised. And I have 0.003 per cent.

David Koch and Travis Boak after a Power win. Picture: AFL Photos

IF ...

the Dusty absence from Friday night footy is a major letdown ...

THEN ...

the Riley Collier-Dawkins debut appearance is good consolation. After being drafted in 2018, certainly hasn't been rushed. But games aren’t gifted at the Tigers, and he's clearly now ready.

03:25 Mins
Published on

Draft prospect: Riley Collier-Dawkins

Watch highlights of 2018 NAB AFL Draft prospect Riley Collier-Dawkins

Published on

IF ...

Ryder is at least 70 per cent fit ...

THEN ...

the Saints will be back on the winning list. He's that important, and he's back, just in time.

01:23 Mins
Published on

VFL Showreel, R2: Ryder returns to footy with a bang

Paddy Ryder has 32 hit-outs, 18 disposals and one goal in his comeback from personal leave

Published on

IF ...

rounds one to four were near-perfect ...

THEN ...

rounds five and six were at the very least a reality check. Round seven, against Geelong, now looms as worrying.

IF ...

Adam Simpson's public use of the words "weak" and "embarrassing" after round six's horrific loss to the Cats don't spark a response in the derby on Sunday ...

THEN ...

the Eagles will be merely making up numbers in 2021.

IF ...

there is one Bulldogs player I hope can make an impact against the Tigers on Friday night footy ...

THEN ...

it is the recalled Josh Schache. Been through a bit since being the No.2 overall pick for the Lions in 2015, hope he earns a sustained crack.

00:48 Mins
Published on

Opportunistic Schache hits the scoreboard

Recalled Bulldog Josh Schache gets just enough on this one

Published on

AND THIS ONE'S FOR THE AFL

IF ...

your charter is to run all aspects of the game ...

THEN ...

not sure which official regulation dictates that one club can tell another club which guernsey it can wear.

Port Adelaide wore the prison bar jumper against Adelaide in round two, 2020. Picture: Getty Images