STRAP yourselves in, footy fans - Damian Barrett's Sliding Doors is in full swing for 2025. 

With the 2025 Toyota AFL Premiership Season underway, Damo's got plenty of thoughts about all 18 clubs - and the AFL.

So what is he saying about your team? What's he saying about the AFL? You can't say that, Damo, can you? Check it out below.

>> ALL THE LATEST NEWS AND OPINION FROM DAMIAN BARRETT

IF ...

the Crows, as expected, do a number on the Tigers at the MCG on Sunday ...

THEN ...

they will be top four coming out of round 16. There are no excuses from here. Let's see what they've got.

IF ..

the prodigiously talented and highly exciting Logan Morris has now booted 54 goals from 33 matches ...

THEN ...

he's launched himself into rare air. Some comparisons here. Buddy had 50 from 33, Lloydy 74, Hawkins 44, Jack Riewoldt 32, Jez Cameron 83, Modra (who was 23 years old on debut) 164, Dunstall (nearly 21yo on debut) 87, Lockett (17 on debut) 98. As a 19-year-old, Morris stood up big-time in the preliminary and Grand Finals last year, kicking two goals in each. He's slammed on 10 in the past two matches.

IF ...

the Blues last Monday wheeled out Cripps and Weitering to face the media ...

THEN ...

no idea what they will do this week. There can be no more words, and there appears to be no more actions, either. Thursday night against Port Adelaide was embarrassingly action-free.

IF ...

I normally ignore 150-match milestones ...

THEN ...

not when it's Brody Mihocek. I love the way he plays. Old-school tough. And what a story. Was 25 years of age at his debut. And has stood up in every big game the Pies have played, from his first year in the 2018 finals series through to the 2023 flag win through to pretty much every time he runs onto the ground. Has never taken a sideways step or look. As tough as Zak Butters.

IF ...

Ridley, Reid, Langford and Redman could all return from injury for round 17 against Gold Coast ...

THEN ...

the final eight matches of the season should be better than five of the six games heading into this weekend's bye. There have been excuses in that period. There won't be now.

IF ...

Luke Jackson changed the course of a Grand Final at just 19 years of age in just his 30th match ...

THEN ...

at 23 he's changing the course of another team in 2025. Now with 109 matches behind him, he knows he belongs among the very best, but he may not yet be anywhere near his ceiling.

IF ...

Jez Cameron has booted 48 goals this year and will be chilling this weekend with the Cats on a bye ...

THEN ...

with eight home and away season matches remaining as well as a potential three finals, he might just be a bolter's hope of doing something that hasn't been done since 2008. He's got two games to come against the hapless Richmond, as well as Essendon, St Kilda, Sydney and North. Buddy was the last to kick 100 in a year. Come on Jez. Go for it!

IF ...

Dimma's "bird" wasn't broadcast at the time he delivered it – from the "privacy" of his coach's box, late in last Sunday's loss to Gold Coast ...

THEN ...

I have no idea why he was fined $2000 by the AFL, after TV rights holder Fox Footy chose to broadcast it during the week. If it was so offensive to the AFL, it should have fined Fox Footy, not Dimma. We are living in a nanny state at too regular times.

IF ...

you needed reminding of the exquisite talent of Jakey Stringer ...

THEN ...

you got it last Sunday with those two final-quarter goals against Gold Coast. No other player in the comp would have attempted those goals, let alone nail them. In a largely dour season for AFL rock stars, Jakey still has some tunes to belt out.

IF ...

the Hawks team to play North Melbourne on Saturday will be without Day, Sicily and Lewis ...

THEN ...

look out if that trio returns. In a wide-open season, that trio looms scarily to opponents.

IF ...

the Jake Lever axing for Saturday's match against Gold Coast wasn't the 10 on the Richter scale that the Derek Kickett one was before the 1993 Grand Final ...

THEN ...

it was still in the high-7 zone. So good for so long and the long-time standard bearer on character.

IF ...

I've taken longer than others to see the improvement in the Roos ...

THEN ...

I'm there now. The eight-match body of work post the Good Friday debacle has been good. Three wins, a draw, four losses – but three of those losses by single-digit margins. A sneaky chance against the Hawks on Saturday.

IF ...

The Bont, The Chad, Jez and Toby are my favourites ...

THEN ...

big Mitch is about to join them. Love the way he plays. One day he will kick 10, maybe 12. It was 5.2 against Carlton on Thursday night. He presents beautifully, he's fearless, he stands up in big moments. And a weird part of his appeal is that he sprays kicks and drops marks. He's becoming must-watch and he always competes.

IF ...

Richmond led GWS by 28 points at three-quarter time, before losing by three points in round 12 ...

THEN ...

its next two matches were dreadful, before and after their bye, against Sydney and Western Bulldogs. The tidal wave has hit it. And there are a few more on the way, another one on in the form of the Adelaide Crows looming on Sunday.

IF ...

it used to be Ross The Boss ...

THEN ...

now it's Ross The Deflector. It's all he's got in 2025. References to White Lotus, Married At First Sight, "nepo babies" and Thursday night crowds nothing but cover for a disastrous season.

IF ...

The Chad was All-Australian in 2024 ...

THEN ...

like his team he hasn't been as spectacular in 2025. But he's still on track to back up that personal accolade. Plays game No.100 under Friday night lights. He's a big occasion player, primed to lead the Swans to an upset win to keep alive faint finals hopes.

IF ...

Jeremy McGovern had played just 33 matches before the start of the 2016 season, before he went on a streak of four consecutive All-Australian gongs ...

THEN ...

what a gun. Added a fifth All-Aus last year. And now it's all over, three games short of 200. Right up there with the great Eagles. And no one will ever forget his extraordinary mark in the final two minutes of the 2018 Grand Final. McGovern to Vardy to Ryan to Sheed. All-time legend play.

IF ...

the Bont has twice been "robbed" of a Brownlow, and I mean no disrespect to Ollie Wines (2021) and Lachie Neale (2023) in saying that ...

THEN ...

how extraordinary would it be if he was to belatedly jag one in a season in which he missed the first five matches with injury. Has been his as-always brilliant best since he returned, and it's a low-key season for standout players. Game No.250 under Friday night lights. Still the best player in the comp, and has been in my eyes since 2019.

AND THIS ONE'S FOR THE AFL

IF ...

the "solution" to the Sunday afternoon matches in 2025 not finishing before the 6pm news bulletin is to bring the start time forward by five minutes, from 3.20pm to 3.15pm ...

THEN ...

that is merely wall-papering over the big cracks, as it doesn't solve the actual problem. There is an embarrassing amount of "dead" time in this game. I have no idea why umpires are told to wait for often-deliberately slow ruckmen to arrive at ball ups, why they feel the need to absorb more time and tell players they are going to back-out in a certain direction after a ball up, and why they even stop the clock to allow players to tie boots. The very unnecessary "dead" time is a massive problem.